Youth in Review ~ A look back at 2013 and A Happy New Year Ahead

It’s the time of year when we all talk about change, and reflect on what we’ve done. Some people make videos, other’s post on Facebook, some write down a list they don’t intend to keep, and others make mental note. Facebook recaps our year in highlights for us, whether we like it or not, Twitter tells us which tweets were most popular, and hundreds of our favorite brands wish us the happiest of New Years Eves. No matter which outlet you choose, we all think the same way about a new year. It signifies changes, deliberate or not, newness, and another opportunity to try and do something important to you. Like a new student on the first day of school, it’s a clean slate. Whatever happened before doesn’t have to matter, and what is going to happen is half your control, half destiny.

As we head into another new year, I am most struck by how fast they go, and how much one of them can change you. It wasn’t that many years ago that I thought each year just flowed into the next, but not much changed, nor did I. All the new year signified was more time, and new chances. Today, though, it symbolizes something much different, it’s not just a passing of time, it’s a passing of me. The last few years have completely changed who I am as a person, and at the end of each one, I find myself shedding yet another layer of skin, as I transform into I life I never thought could exist… mine. Each year represents a stage, a chapter, and unlike my earlier, less experienced days, I realize that we live in a 365 day process. Like a caterpillar turning to a butterfly, we live our life in these stages, waiting for that magical moment when we can spread our wings and truly be ourselves.

Last year I lamented on how much the life I knew had changed, and while I was struck with sincere surprise at it all, this year, I’ve become more comfortable, more settled, but no less sincere. I learned about falling in real, grown up love, but this year, I learned how to be in love, and live in it, literally, when we moved in together. I moved back to a apartment I knew , but I also said goodbye to an old friend, who had once represented my home. Now, because of severe health issues, and pet allergies, he had to be given to another one. That was one of the hardest things I did this year, but it was also part of a story that will always make up my life, and I can only hope for a brighter future for us both.

The other most important thing I found this year was myself. After much mental prodding, I pushed myself to go to a west coast blogger conference ALONE. This was something that in previous years, I thought myself incapable of. But this year, I took a leap of faith, and planned to room with strangers in La at the conference. That decision not only changed the way I work, it gave me an amazing experience, and a great, new friend. The decision to work on discovering my true passions began last year, but this year, I finally found that voice, and made that passion a full time job, or at least attempted to try. I will spend of all 2014 accomplishing, and proving that to myself.

When I looked at my “list” of 2013 Resolutions recently, right after I made fun of myself for even making them, I felt a very foreign feeling run through my body. It was pride… in me. Far from the usual batterings I give myself, I looked on in amazement, as I realized that I could actually cross things off my list! I hadn’t just made scribblings on a piece of paper, that I would soon lose, or forget about. I made actual goals, and somehow accomplished them. I had finally worked to redo my blog, had finally started my charm website, and put something special together. Beecharmernyc has officially launched, and I can’t wait to see what comes next for both.

I realized then that resolutions aren’t about fixing something, or changing something necessarily. It’s about the games we play with ourselves, and how amazing it feels, when once in a while, we beat our sub conscious, our questions, our faults, and just win. If that’s true, then I resolve to keep my head in the game, and come out on top every time.