Laundry, bank, send that pitch- a few thoughts I may have as my husband plunges a needle into my soft belly. A burning sensation so familiar I barely feel it anymore. Afterwards, I should lay down or meditate but I don’t. I usually watch movies that let me escape the realities of daily life. But after a handful of fertility treatments, I do know there are some essentials – the absolute must have resources during IVF.
IVF was once a distant place I never thought I’d visit. But after two natural pregnancies, and two losses, by 2021, I bought my ticket and finally took the trip. I’ve been on it ever since.
It’s a complicated journey, despite how easy celebrities may portray it. I’m no longer a novice, terrified of needles, and self inflicting. I know the shots are in fact, the simple part. And I’m now armed with the reality that IVF is no easy answer, nor does it always result in a baby.
Difficulty comes, not with balancing syringes, but time. Waiting is one of the biggest themes and learning how to navigate it is one of the hardest feats during treatment.
This makes the process even more frustrating. But it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t enter into it. Securing the best resources can make the difference in the experience.
Some must have resources during IVF:
Support groups
The key to getting through IVF is support. Finding it is more likely to be from behind a screen, than from close friends and family. Find your situation soulmates online and use the community to feel less isolated. It’s a traumatic process, and the reality is that only those who’ve experienced it can truly understand.
The best groups include Resolve, and Rescripted.
Facebook groups on this topic are precarious and the line between help and hindrance can become blurred. For an option that offers support in an intimate setting, join the private Circle and Bloom private group.
Egg whipserer Intro to IVF course
Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh is also affectionately known as the Egg Whisperer, and since discovering her, I’ve been a bit obsessed. It’s not easy to find a fertility workshop, or course that isn’t trying to ultimately sell you an expensive package. But Dr Aimee’s $60 Intro to IVF course is an affordable, and invaluable resource.
It doesn’t just provide vital information for beginners, and a live Q & A session. She also remains accessible long afterwards, which is pretty amazing.
The Trying game by Amy Klein
When you enter the world of infertility, people will mention the book It Starts with the Egg. I know, because it happened to me, I bought it, and observed the rules – initially. I can pull some points from the ubiquitously recommended book. But I can’t whole heartedly support any kind of toxic self restraint anymore. I’m done repeatedly wondering why it doesn’t make any difference.
Instead, I’d advise reading The Trying Game. It’s the one book I didn’t put down, and essential for anyone embarking into IVF.
Mind Body programs.
One of the most important must have resources during IVF are health and body programs. There are endless ways to self care that include spending, but free resources exist too.
Helen Adrienne : Helen Adrienne, LCSW, and hypnotherapist offers mind body reduction stress classes which helped me during the early, scary days of the pandemic. She teaches easy meditative techniques that help quell anxiety.
Online yoga. Youtube has tons of free yoga classes, including the most popular, Yoga with Adriene. Others specialize in fertility yoga, and feature free 30 minute classes.
Circle and Bloom free meditation practice. For National Infertility Awareness Week, all packages are 30% off, but the grief program is always free.
Free online writing spaces.
Repeated, or failed treatments cause grief, an uncommon kind that isn’t universally understood.
One surprisingly beneficial outlet are free spaces online that exist solely for writing. Journalling has healing properties, and these write in’s allow you to freely express your thoughts, either on paper, or out loud. it’s shockingly cathartic. But stay tuned for a more in depth essay on this topic, hopefully coming soon.
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